joshwriting (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
joshwriting) wrote2004-05-21 04:52 pm
joshwriting) wrote2004-05-21 04:52 pm
Entry tags:
Where did I come from (continued)
Time - Spring, 1975
Place - Worcester Polytechnic Institute
Circumstance - I passed two course that year (though my annoying current version of transripts say I only passed one!) out of the twelve I took. I loved being there. My roommate passed one.
The excerpts below are from email messages, back before I had email or knew the word email. We exchanged messages back and forth, quickly, at times. At 10 or 11 at night. Or 1 or 2am. Not on monitors, but on printers, because that, too, was what was available to us. I was typing on a TTY. We would have been IMing, then, if it had existed. She was at a different college from me.
Dear Josh,
It is 10:00 wednesday night, and of course I am sitting here without having answered my mother's phone call of this morning. I don't even want to go back to my room... I have this dread that she and my father are there, waiting for me to come in that door... Melodramatics never helped anybody, but they certainly illistrate my point, don't they?
I hope I wasn't annoying you or getting in your way today.
Escape... I wonder if pressing this escape key here would help me any??? Just a psychological gesture, I am afraid... $$$ [editorial - those are the symbols from hitting an escape key on a TTY]
Would you really want to meet my parents, Josh? "Mom, Dad... guess who's coming to dinner?"...
I'm going to try to stand up to them, Josh... I have to. IF I don't, I really don't see how I could ever face myself or anybody else again... I mean, what kind of a person do I claim to be, if I can't stand up for my own rights? I can't always have someone do everything for me...
The more I think about it, the more I feel terrible about dumping all of my problems on you like this... Something more to add to my guilt complex... Because, after all, you are not "Uncle Josh" and I have no right to go and ask you to think about my dumb problems when you must have enough of your own...
...I should just talk myself into not caring any more... I dunno.
********
She wasn't unfair then. It wasn't unreasonable. I wasn't bored. Or annoyed.
But her worries then sound strikingly familiar.
And so does the conversation as a whole. Not the specifics, but the tone.
On both sides, now that I think of it.
Place - Worcester Polytechnic Institute
Circumstance - I passed two course that year (though my annoying current version of transripts say I only passed one!) out of the twelve I took. I loved being there. My roommate passed one.
The excerpts below are from email messages, back before I had email or knew the word email. We exchanged messages back and forth, quickly, at times. At 10 or 11 at night. Or 1 or 2am. Not on monitors, but on printers, because that, too, was what was available to us. I was typing on a TTY. We would have been IMing, then, if it had existed. She was at a different college from me.
Dear Josh,
It is 10:00 wednesday night, and of course I am sitting here without having answered my mother's phone call of this morning. I don't even want to go back to my room... I have this dread that she and my father are there, waiting for me to come in that door... Melodramatics never helped anybody, but they certainly illistrate my point, don't they?
I hope I wasn't annoying you or getting in your way today.
Escape... I wonder if pressing this escape key here would help me any??? Just a psychological gesture, I am afraid... $$$ [editorial - those are the symbols from hitting an escape key on a TTY]
Would you really want to meet my parents, Josh? "Mom, Dad... guess who's coming to dinner?"...
I'm going to try to stand up to them, Josh... I have to. IF I don't, I really don't see how I could ever face myself or anybody else again... I mean, what kind of a person do I claim to be, if I can't stand up for my own rights? I can't always have someone do everything for me...
The more I think about it, the more I feel terrible about dumping all of my problems on you like this... Something more to add to my guilt complex... Because, after all, you are not "Uncle Josh" and I have no right to go and ask you to think about my dumb problems when you must have enough of your own...
...I should just talk myself into not caring any more... I dunno.
********
She wasn't unfair then. It wasn't unreasonable. I wasn't bored. Or annoyed.
But her worries then sound strikingly familiar.
And so does the conversation as a whole. Not the specifics, but the tone.
On both sides, now that I think of it.
no subject
no subject
I'm listening too, if you want to keep going, Josh
no subject
i like the icon
(Anonymous) 2004-05-22 11:09 pm (UTC)(link)~alana
http://eveninghawk.com
curious
(Anonymous) 2004-05-22 11:07 pm (UTC)(link)~alana
(heh, you can delete the last one where I forgot my name... *smacks forehead*)
no subject
even with the little i feel i know
i would sit down and read 400 pages worth
we all want to know
so come on!!!!!
dazzle us with your unique and fabulous past
(fabulous as in what i think/ feel it is as in i want to know like my drive to learn.. which not many try to get in the way of... because i know i can learn from it, endless amounts)