Not all apologies are created equal.
"I am sorry that hurt you" and "I am sorry you were hurt" are not the same as "I am sorry I hurt you."
"I am sorry I did not remember that conversation" is not the same as "I am sorry I yelled at you and claimed you never said that."
"I'm sorry, but he started it" is not the same as "I am sorry for what I did."
"You shouldn't have..." is not the start of an apology at all. "I'm sorry. I'm not a mind reader..." is not one, either.
*****
How do you apologize? What sounds like an apology to you? What doesn't?
*****
There are people I have hurt whom I know will read this. I am sorry I have hurt you, and I will try to do better.
ETA: In the name of trying to cut down on hurt this post may cause, I offer the following caveats:
a) While there may be some current issue that is related to one or more of these, I assure you that each of them has a multiude of practicioners. Doesn't mean it doesn't apply, merely that it is not uniquely you.
b) Trying to pin down about whom these are written, past or present, is probably going to be a waste of time.
c) The answer to the question "Is this about me?" is "I don't know. Is it?"
"I am sorry that hurt you" and "I am sorry you were hurt" are not the same as "I am sorry I hurt you."
"I am sorry I did not remember that conversation" is not the same as "I am sorry I yelled at you and claimed you never said that."
"I'm sorry, but he started it" is not the same as "I am sorry for what I did."
"You shouldn't have..." is not the start of an apology at all. "I'm sorry. I'm not a mind reader..." is not one, either.
*****
How do you apologize? What sounds like an apology to you? What doesn't?
*****
There are people I have hurt whom I know will read this. I am sorry I have hurt you, and I will try to do better.
ETA: In the name of trying to cut down on hurt this post may cause, I offer the following caveats:
a) While there may be some current issue that is related to one or more of these, I assure you that each of them has a multiude of practicioners. Doesn't mean it doesn't apply, merely that it is not uniquely you.
b) Trying to pin down about whom these are written, past or present, is probably going to be a waste of time.
c) The answer to the question "Is this about me?" is "I don't know. Is it?"